Chopping Mall Review (1986): Killer Robots and an Exploding Head

Genre(s) – Horror, Sci-Fi
Director – Jim Wynorski
Writers – Jim Wynorski, Steve Mitchell
Cast – Kelli Maroney, Tony O’Dell ,John Terlesky, Russell Todd, Paul Bartel, Mary Woronov, Barbara Crampton
Runtime – 76 Minutes
My Rating – ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐☆☆

Where To Watch/Stream Chopping Mall

It’s dumb, loud, and full of nonsense, but I loved it.

Plot Summary of Chopping Mall (Spoiler-Free)

Chopping Mall is about a group of young mall employees who decide to sneak in an after-hours party in the store where they work. They bring booze, beds, and each other, because obviously nothing bad ever happens when horny teens throw secret parties in horror movies.

Meanwhile, the mall has just installed these fancy new security robots that are supposed to patrol the halls, stop crimes, and generally look like overgrown RC cars with tasers. When lightning strikes the control center, the bots go full on homicidal.

Chopping Mall Review: Is It Worth Watching?

If you’re wondering whether Chopping Mall is a “good” movie by normal standards, then absolutely not. But if you’re wondering whether it’s a fun movie, then hell yes it’s fun.

Right from the start, this movie knows exactly what it is. There’s no pretense, no attempt at being anything deep. It’s a horror B-movie with robots and boobs. It’s not trying to comment on consumerism or surveillance or anything fancy, although you could probably pretend it is and sound clever at parties. Nah, this is just a straight-up, low-budget, laser-filled 80s kill fest, and it’s a great time.

It kicks off with a fake infomercial about the robot system, which immediately sets the tone of what to expect. It’s all very cheesy, self-aware, and completely ridiculous. And then the actual movie kicks in, giving you about 15 minutes of setup before the bots start frying people.

The characters are your standard horror movie buffet that you have seen before oh so many times. you know the types. But what helps here is that the film never really tries to pretend it’s more than what it is.

Now, the robot are basically glorified vacuum cleaners with attitude. They roll around on tank treads and shoot laser beams that somehow miss people standing right in front of them. But when they do hit, it’s like a firecracker in a watermelon. Boooooom.

And yes, the effects are terrible, but in the best possible way. You can tell someone put real love into the gore, even if it’s all campy and low-budget. There’s an exploding head scene that’s just classic 80’s.

I also really enjoyed how quickly the movie gets going. Once the robots snap, it’s a non-stop game of hide and seek with death lasers. It’s frantic, chaotic, and gleefully dumb.

As mentioned, the film isn’t good by normal standards. The dialogue ranges from wooden to completely unhinged. Lines like “Let’s go trash the fucker” and “I scare so easily!” sound like they were written by someone who’d never actually spoken to another human being.

Also, some of the actors give performances that feel less like acting and more like reading off cue cards during a fire drill. But that just adds to the charm of it all. This is not a movie you go into expecting anything other than dumb fun You go in for the synth soundtrack, the over-the-top gore, and the laser battles between humans and glorified toasters.

This movie is so proudly and defiantly stupid that you just kind of fall in love with it.

What I liked (And What I Didn’t Like)

Pros

It’s Unapologetically Fun

There’s no filler, no wasted time, just a bunch of scenes strung together to get to the next ridiculous robot attack.

The Robots Are Hilariously Bad

They’re barely mobile, shoot laser beams that miss most of the time, and have voices like malfunctioning GPS units. They’re goofy, clunky, and charming in their complete incompetence. You can’t hate them.

The Exploding Head Scene

This deserves its own mention. There’s a moment where someone’s head just straight up explodes out of nowhere.

The 80s Vibe

From the hair to the music to the set design, it’s a full-blown 80s time capsule. The mall setting, the neon signs, the synth-heavy score, it’s all gloriously dated and perfect.

Short Runtime

At just around 76 minutes, this movie doesn’t waste your time. It’s in, out, and done before you can ask what just happened.

It’s a Cult Classic for a Reason

There’s a reason Chopping Mall keeps popping up on “best of the worst” lists. It’s pure camp, but it’s also genuinely entertaining. Once you see it, you don’t forget it.

Cons

The Dialogue is Hilariously Awful

Most of the lines sound like they were written during a lunch break on a napkin. Some of them are so bad they loop back around to being iconic. Others just make you cringe.

Zero Logic

There is no attempt to explain how or why anything happens. Robots go evil because of lightning. People run toward danger. It’s fine, but if you’re the kind of person who asks, “Wait, how does that work?” you’ll go mad.

Who Might Like Chopping Mall

• Fans of 80s horror and sci-fi
• People who enjoy “so bad it’s good” movies
• Anyone who grew up renting weird VHS tapes from the corner store
• Fans of cult classics and B-movies
• Horror fans with a sense of humor

Who Might Dislike Chopping Mall

• People who prefer serious horror
• Folks who hate camp or 80s nostalgia
• Viewers expecting good special effects
• Anyone expecting a logical plot

Final Verdict: Did I Enjoy Watching Chopping Mall?

Absolutely. You will know from the first five minutes that you are going to have a good time. It’s stupid, it’s campy, and it’s got more laser-fueled robot murders than most movies even attempt.

Is it good? Not by any normal standard. But it’s entertaining as hell.

Chopping Mall made me laugh, it kept me interested, and it never once took itself too seriously. If you’re in the mood for something fun, fast, and full of completely unnecessary explosions, this one’s worth a shot.

8/10

Chopping Mall Trailer

Simon Leasher

A lover of cinema for over 35 years, I have watched many films from around the world in many different genres, yet I still normally always come back to trashy slasher horror films when in doubt. More

And yes, The Godfather 2 is better than The Godfather.